Spirituality Tips Guides

Food is an important part of the Jewish tradition so knowing what to serve on each holiday is important.

When orthodox Jews came together on Rosh Hashana, they greeted each other with the Hebrew phrase “L’Shonah Tovoh Ticosevu,” meaning “May a good New Year be in store for you.”

For us children this was a very happy Holiday. This was the time when, in addition to the regular Sabbath feast, there were plenty of sweets - honey, nuts, ginger, spice, etc., harbingers of a sweet and zestful year. We would watch big-eyed, while Mama dished out the round-cut carrots with the tzimmes, signifying a well-rounded year. This was the Holiday of desserts. Not so for the grownups. To them Rosh Hashana was the time to review their deeds during the past year, repent their sins, beg forgiveness for transgressions, and pray to God to inscribe a good New Year. To Mama it was a time to work even harder, to gather her flock together and feed them even better than before.

Everyone knows that the Jewish people have suffered persecution, poverty and hardship throughout their history. We have been told that for every ill there is a compensating good. I like to think that one of the benefits of belonging to our people is that we have so many Holidays when we may foregather, eat, drink and be merry. Indeed this was and is a measure of our reverence. So let us celebrate by turning to the section headed cakes and desserts - and Esst gezuudt! Please remember that kreplach are a must on this Holiday.

Another good Jewish holiday is Succoth. All over the world, in various cultures and throughout known history, the fall of the year is a special time for celebrating and giving thanks. To the Jews, the feast of the Harvest is known as Succoth. There is another and deeper significance to this holiday, for the succah (tabernacle) is symbolic of the shelter in Jewish wanderings, the haven of refuge for a persecuted people.

Orthodox Jews observe this holiday in the following way. A succah (a wooden structure covered with vine leaves and branches) is put up outside the house. Here food is served throughout the holiday week.

I remember how excited we children would be when the succah was put up in our back yard. Because of its limited capacity, the adults naturally had priority, and we children became unexpectedly angelic at the promise of being permitted into the succah if we behaved like grownups - “Vest zein a mensh, vest du essen in succah!”

For an entire week, food was carried from the kitchen, sometimes two or three flights down, with the children gaily bringing out the edibles and the elders happily gathered around the wooden table under the leafy boughs. This is a holiday when kreplach of all kinds are served.

And how can we talk about Kosher cooking without mentioning Hanukkah? Hanukkah is the most delightful of the holidays for children. It is the Feast of Lights, the commemoration of the time when Maccabeus and a small band of followers fought the Syrian-Greek tyrant Antiochus and rededicated the temple. The story is told that when the Maccabees found enough oil to burn for a single day, miraculously it lasted eight days.

This is the holiday when potato pancakes, potato kugel and blines are served; when we distribute Hanukkah gelt (money) to children. There is a dradle (top), which the young ones spin for forfeits of nuts.

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A tallit (also known as a prayer shawl, especially by Christians) is a rectangle or square cloth with tzitzit (fringes) on each of the four corners and an atarah along the collar. It is worn in obedience to the biblical commandment to wear tzitzit found in Numbers 15:37-41. The passage reads:

“The L-RD also spoke to Moses, saying, ‘Speak to the sons of Israel, and tell them that they shall make for themselves tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and that they shall put on the tassel of each corner a cord of blue. It shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the L-RD, so as to do them and not follow after your own heart and your own eyes, after which you played the harlot, so that you may remember to do all My commandments and be holy to your G-d. I am the L-RD your G-d who brought you out from the land of Egypt to be your G-d; I am the L-RD your G-d.’”

Historically, the tallit is a Jewish garment, with black stripes, worn by Jewish men only. However, the tradition has developed and more and more Jewish women also wear tallits now. In addition, tallits are no longer limited to plain black stripes. An interesting development recently has been the number of churches and Christians who have begun using tallits and prayer shawls in their services, prayer meetings, or in their personal devotional times. Read on to learn more!

A tallit can be made in a variety of fabrics, including wool, cotton, silk, polyester, rayon, dacron, and more, although that worn by a “cohen” or “levite” cannot be made of a mixed fabric. Some have a blue thread in the tzitzit called techelet, in accordance with the original biblical commandment, but even those that do not have the techelet can have it added by special request.

The traditional style to wear the tallit is to put it over the shoulders and draped down the back, then pull the two front corners up over the shoulders & down the front. Often tallit clips are used in the front to hold the traditional tallit in place. Contemporary tallits are often smaller, resembling shawls, and these just hang around the neck or across your shoulders and upper part of your back. Both types of tallit often now have contemporary designs rather than the traditional stripes, ranging from the Etz Chaim (tree of life), to multi-colored stripes, from a bold red background to Chagall’s windows, from the Jerusalem skyline to a flowers design, and more; the possibilities & options are almost endless.

When the tallit is put on it is customary to say a traditional blessing, known as a b’racha. This blessing, either in full or just the last part of it, is sometimes stitched or painted on the atarah (collar) of the tallit, but it does not have to be there in order for the tallit to be kosher. The b’racha for putting on the tallit is as follows:

“Baruch ata adonai, eloheynu melech ha-olam, asher kidd’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hitatef b’tzitzit.”

“Blessed art thou, O L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe, who has sanctified us by thy commandments and has commanded us to put on the tzitzit.”

Tallits are worn during the morning prayer on weekdays, including Shabbat and other holy days, but are not normally worn during the afternoon or evening prayers. One exception to this is on Erev Yom Kippur at the Neilah service where it is customary to wear your tallit. The tallit can be worn by both men and women, although in Orthodoxy women do not generally wear one. While it is a commandment for an adult Jewish man to “don the tzitzit,” it is only “permissible” for an adult Jewish woman to do so, not commanded. It is, however, encouraged that a woman who wears a tallit would use a woman’s one rather than a man’s, and there are many many beautiful designs and fabrics now available specifically for women. In addition, it is not traditionally encouraged for someone who is not Jewish to wear a tallit, even though it is becoming more common for some Christians to wear the tallit, or prayer shawl, during their prayer or worship times. Whatever the case, it should be stressed that this is a holy garment and must be treated with respect and honor to the biblical commandments and the Jewish tradition of which it is an integral part.

If you are looking for a tallit or prayer shawl, you can find discount tallit warehouses online and shop from your armchair! A good online tallit shop will offer tallits and prayer shawls in a range of sizes, both traditional and contemporary styles for men, women, and bar/bat mitzvah children, in a variety of fabrics & designs. They will even include the techelet as a custom order if requested, and will work with you as an individual to find the perfect tallit for you!

Adam Barnett works for Studio Shofar Judaica & Gifts, and hopes to help educate the judaica market to better understand judaica products in general. To browse through a huge selection of tallits & prayer shawls, visit the tallit warehouse at Studio Shofar Judaica & Gifts.

Guidance follows, not the law. The DJ you hire may take umbrage at being told how to conduct his performance. I would! But choosing the proper Disc Jockey is perhaps the most important decision you can make to ensure the success of your event. Everything else can be perfect, but if the music presentation isn’t a bulls-eye, the party will fizzle.

Selecting a DJ can be tough. There are dozens in most communities, all promising a great job. So, how do you pick the right one? I’ll ease the chore. Relax. You can’t be rushed or hasty or jump at the first offer. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap!

The best way to find a DJ you’ll like is obvious: hire one you’ve seen in action. If you attended a function where the DJ was noteworthy, find out who he was. If you didn’t get his business card at the party, ask the host, caterer or hall manager. Maybe your friends have been to an affair you missed. Tell them you’re looking. Request that they keep their eyes (and ears) open for you. After that, your job gets tougher.

I’m not going to list “Find-A-DJ” web sites here. Selecting by state, only a handful of DJ companies will show up, while hundreds are actually available. Besides, most specifically list Wedding DJs, not Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJs. Better bets:

1. Ask your caterer. Which DJs impress them? Which don’t? They’ve seen ‘em all!

2. Look for staged events such as a B’nai or Simcha Showcase. They’re usually sponsored by Jewish publications, local Synagogues, hotels, the JCC or caterers, and held at their halls. Not only DJs, but vendors representing every aspect of your party needs will be represented…from your invitations to the last dance!

3. Call local radio stations. Many have excellent DJs who “moonlight.”

4. Check out the display and classified ads in your newspaper or phone book. Look under the “Disc Jockey,” “Music” or “Entertainment” headings. Note the ads in which the DJ actually mentions “Bar Mitzvahs.” He’ll obviously be comfortable with the format. But remember, well established and proficient DJs should be able to handle any occasion, so seek out one who has performed many times, hundreds of times, at every type of party or function. Experience breeds professionalism.

Mobile DJing is most often a part-time vocation. If you’re not calling an agency, the vast majority of single-unit operators (other than radio jocks) will have different weekday employment. It should not prejudice your choice, but your DJ is likely a “weekend warrior.” Expect an answering machine from 9 to 5. But a PROMPT response.

Do we throw this party of buy a new car? You won’t be asking yourself that question if you allocate wisely. We all know that this will not be an inexpensive day. But expense is relative.

The worst way to choose a DJ is on the bottom line, as your SOLE consideration. It’s tempting to seek the cheapest alternative, but consider the law of supply and demand. A higher priced DJ may be worth the extra expenditure since he’s not going to be a rookie, he enjoys his reputation and he tends to work constantly. You’ll find that DJs at the bottom end of the price scale are likely relatively new to the business, trying to get established with tempting fees. But be cautious before opening the Yellow Pages and calling the DJ who offers the “best” price. He may be worth a shot if your party is on the informal side, but you must acknowledge a risk regarding presentation and reliability.

So many responsibilities go along with being a crowd pleaser. Hire low end, receive low end. How can he afford equipment and music upkeep and still earn a living? While DJ shopping, have you given any thought to an inferior music library, shoddy people skills or, hold still…a no-show? I’d bet that wouldn’t have even entered your mind! It should.

Or:
– He often steps outside for a smoke
– “Imbibes” because you (wrongly) offered
– Has the gall to put a “Tip Jar” on his table (be sure your Bartender doesn’t show one, either!)
– Makes occasional inappropriate remarks
– Has friends in attendance and doesn’t concentrate on the event
– Makes your guests shout, playing too loud during dinner
– Plays what he enjoys rather than what motivates a crowd, and then blends that music improperly
– Or he shows up but simply does not shut up!

When you speak to a prospective DJ, sense whether or not Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are his niche. Several DJs I know will book a Mitzvah because it’s a job. But they dread the date. Obviously they’d never admit that to you, but they experience trepidation. I network and I run into guys like this. They’re fine with weddings, but dealing with the games and the Candlelighting and the Motzi and the Hora and the KIDS puts them in a cold sweat.

A “bargain” DJ may turn out to be anything but.

Joe Pachino has been a Radio & Mobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974 and authored “DJ’s Secrets Revealed! How To Select (And Get The Most Out Of) Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ” c 2001, 2007 EMI. It’s loaded with constructive, organized and valuable tip$ for Parents. He’s performed at well over 1000 Mitzvahs, so take advantage of his experience. (And experiences!) You’ll find loads of info and goodies at http://djs-secrets.com/

Dear Friends:

Let me begin by apologizing in advance for what follows. It is not my intention to lecture anyone about anything. I am no tzaddik, to be sure, and I have no right to preach about righteousness to anyone, let alone members of a community who, in many cases, have a moral compass much truer than mine and whose commitment to Torah puts mine to shame. Having said that, I am unable to keep silent about the subject that follows, so here goes:

Over the past few weeks, much discourse (both public and private) has taken place within the Jewish community (among many other communities, I am sure) on the subject of Darfur. Much of what has been said and written has been quite eloquent concerning the unspeakable horrors facing the victims there, and many have exhorted the members of our community to participate in an April 30 rally in Washington, to urge prompt action upon the Bush Administration. To my great surprise, and, I am sorry to say, embarrassment, I have heard words from people to the effect of: “what do I care about these people?” or “they’re mostly Muslim and hate Jews…why should we help them?”

In the world in which I grew up (and, I daresay, this applies to many, if not all of us), it was a virtual article of faith to say that: “while the Jews burned, the world kept silent.” I, like most of my peers, accepted that statement as (you should excuse the expression) Gospel. In my opinion, if we do not stand up for Darfur, we lose the right to continue complaining about world apathy, past and present, for Jewish woes. In short, we forfeit the moral ‘high ground’ and, I believe, no longer can lecture an uncaring world.

This is such a basic article of the Jewish creed, that I am astonished that it needs to be pointed out by anyone, least of all, an am ha’aretz like myself. One of the three principles enunciated and ALWAYS quoted and attributed to Hillel is: “If I am only for myself, what am I?”

Now I know that it is only natural that people worry first about their family, next about their friends and community and only afterward about strangers and the world at large. But somewhere in the mix, we need to consider not only WHO the victims are, but the severity and scale of the suffering. And while I would certainly be the last person to suggest that helping finance a yeshiva is unimportant (I beg that you not interpret my words to, G-d forbid, say such a thing), the people of Darfur are, in my opinion, the victims of a holocaust.

Yes, I know it makes Jews very angry to see that loaded term used in ANY context other than THE HOLOCAUST—hence, I use a lower-case ‘h’. But in reality, we might ask ourselves, “Why is this NOT a holocaust?” It is, after all, precipitated by nothing other than racial/ethnic hatred, involves the wholesale murder of, potentially, millions of people, and in a brutal, gruesome manner that would do the Nazis proud.

Thus, I am hard-pressed to understand why people who are always responsive to charitable requests, and who usually, if not always, turn out for Jewish or Israeli causes, find Darfur unworthy of their efforts. I don’t know a single one of the victims or potential victims of these atrocities. I probably never will. I don’t have any personal emotional investment in their well-being, or even that of their innocent children. But I know, as surely as one can know anything, that our standing up for them is a kiddush hashem, and an obligation that we all share.

Those who do not think this horror deserving of their attention must, I think, consider carefully any future complaints against a world indifferent to Jewish suffering. And if our community, which (rightly) supports Jewish soup kitchens, UJA, Israel Bonds, and literally dozens of other wonderful and important causes and acts of chesed, does not turn out in DROVES for this event on April 30, then SHAME ON US!

Once again, please accept these words as an expression of strong personal feeling and not of criticism of anybody or of our community. The skilled and articulate leaders in our midst who are advocating participation in this event hardly need my help in promoting it. In reality, in any event, the justice of the cause should speak for itself. Please consider the foregoing in that light.

Sincerely,

Warren R. Graham

copyright 2006

Warren R. Graham is an attorney with the New York Law Firm of Cohen Tauber Spievack & Wagner LLP. E-mail: wgraham@ctswlaw.com