Spirituality Tips Guides

Children, as well as adults, love to play the Dreidel Game during Hanukkah (also spelt Chanukah), and a wide range of dreidels can easily be purchased online at judaica shops. The selection and variation of styles available can be overwhelming, but the game played with them is always the same!

A dreidel (also spelt draydel and draydle) is a four-sided top or any shaped spinning item with four Hebrew symbols on it. The symbols are each a different Hebrew letter: nun, gimel, heh, and shin. These four letters stand for the words: nes, gadol, hayah, and sham. The translation of these four words is: “A Great Miracle Happened There.” In Israel, the last letter on the dreidel is peh instead of shin. This last letter stands for the word poh, which changes the meaning to: “A Great Miracle Happened Here.”

To play the Dreidel Game, you start with a “pot” in the middle. The “pot” can be made of candy, coins, chocolate gelt, or any other small thing of value, although most times children play with gelt. Gelt is the Yiddish word for “money,” but in this context, gelt often refers to chocolate coins widely available during Hanukkah. Each player is given a certain amount of gelt and puts one piece into the center to start the “pot.” The players then take turns spinning the dreidel, and whichever side faces up (or whichever Hebrew letter is pointed to) when it stops spinning determines what you do:

If the letter NUN is facing up, you do NOTHING.
If the letter SHIN is facing up, you PUT ONE piece of gelt into the pot.
If the letter HEH is facing up, you TAKE HALF the gelt from the pot.
If the letter GIMEL is facing up, you TAKE ALL the gelt from the pot.
If ever the pot is empty, each player puts one piece of gelt into the center. When a player runs out of gelt, he or she is out of the game! The winner is the last one left in.

Some dreidels are hollow and can be filled with candy or chocolate. Some play music when they spin. And still others can be stacked on top of one another as they spin. They are made from many different materials, including plastic, wood, ceramic, glass, gold, and silver. The plastic versions cost as little as ten cents, but gold and silver dreidels can cost in the hundreds of dollars. Even though dreidels are mostly enjoyed by children, no matter how young or old, many adults collect ornate and beautiful dreidels, and display them in china or curio cabinets.

“L’dor l’dor” means “from generation to generation,” and it refers to the importance of passing down traditions and religious practices to your children. Hanukkah is one of best times to pass down your Jewish traditions to your kids because of how many resources there are, and how much fun the holiday is.

Fortunately, it’s easy to help your kids enjoy and understand the Hanukkah season, and to get them involved in Hanukkah activities. Of course, most popular is the dreidel game. If your kids don’t have dreidels, buy at least one for each of them and teach them how to play. If you want to encourage their artistic side, you can get dreidels your kids can color and decorate themselves, or even ones that they can build themselves such as the new clay dreidel that can be molded, dried and then painted before it is played with.

Other activities during the Hanukkah season include reading Hanukkah books, eating candy and gelt, coloring, putting together puzzles, sending out Hanukkah cards, making cookies with Hanukkah cookie cutters, playing with Hanukkah stickers, and more. Kids can even get Hanukkah yo-yos that play traditional songs like The Dreidel Song, which begins, “I have a little dreidel.”

It is common for each child in the family to have their own Hanukkah menorah to light. But if you have kids who are too young to light candles, then you may want to consider some of the kid-friendly menorahs available today. For instance, there are stuffed menorahs with flames that Velcro on, and thin plastic ones that stick to the window and have separate plastic flames that can be attached.

Because the Hanukkah season is so festive, there are big parties and family gatherings. Many families give their children a present each night of Chanukah and decorate their homes with blue and white festive decorations and electric lights, often shaped like dreidels. Gifts run the gamut from gelt to clothing, from hanukkah toys and crafts to video games.

Some families choose to get and fill Hanukkah bags for their kids so they don’t feel left out when their non-Jewish friends receive gifts and candy in stockings. Again, all of these wonderful items are easily available online as you shop from your armchair, and you can shop to your heart’s content as you plan on making this a hanukkah for your kids to remember with hanukkah toys, activities, dreidels, puzzles, cookie cutters, menorahs, and more.

Adam Barnett works for Studio Shofar Judaica & Gifts, and hopes to help educate the judaica market to better understand judaica products in general. Visit his website to learn more about hanukkah, hanukkah toys, crafts, games & more at www.studioshofar.com/hanukkah.html

If you don’t book through an agency, weren’t referred, haven’t previously seen his act or met at a Simcha Showcase, your initial interaction with a prospective DJ is the telephone.

That’s good for you! You’re on your home turf. He’s not physically in your living room giving you a face-to-face pitch, which either openly will, or subtly could, be intimidating. You’re under no obligation or pressure to then and there “sign on the dotted line.” Have pre-written questions by the phone and jot down his answers, since you may be interviewing several DJs.

A DJ is a showman and a salesman. He must convince you that (1) his service is better than the competition’s and (2) you’ve made a wise choice by calling him.

(1) I never discuss my competition directly unless I know my response will be a positive one. If anyone in sales disparages another by either personal or business name, that says a lot about him, too. (And, it’s slander.)

(2) If a prospective client mentions something like “You’ve got a great reputation. Give us more info,” “We heard wonderful things about you from a friend,” or “I grew up listening to you on the radio” then they’ve already softened me up. My response will be “Do you have a few minutes?” since I’m about to settle in and devote about a half-hour of initial phone time to this parent. Naturally, I enjoy a compliment. Flattery will get you everywhere! I’m here you. Pick my brain. (If you’ve seen the DJ you’re calling work previously and enjoyed his act, certainly let him know.)

However, if the first question I hear is “How much do you charge for four hours?” I immediately recognize: (1) They’re clueless regarding the interview process and have no idea what to ask. (2) They care about cost. They don’t care about quality of work, available music selection, equipment or DJ experience. And/or (3), I’m not going to get the job since my rates are somewhat higher than my competitors’.

I won’t cut my fee, but there are plenty of DJs who will. Others charge less to begin with and thrive on low-end functions where the client’s expectations are minimal. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I wish all DJs would just make up their minds which segment of the public they’d like to reach, and stick with it. Every market needs cost-cutters so the rest of us have a point of reference.

This doesn’t apply to agencies, but independent DJs set their own fee schedules. So, if he’s a fraction the price of another, that’s what HE feels he’s worth! So it IS what he’s worth. A movie star may make $10,000,000 for a role. A novice actor might be delighted to receive $10,000 to play that same part! But who’s the producer going to hire? Cheap is cheap. Unless you’re very lucky (or the DJ has no business sense) cheap does not equal proficient.

Some DJs readily admit (to other DJs, only) that, when asked what they charge, they’ll put off answering until they’ve delivered their pitch and had a chance to ascertain your budget.

They may reduce their fee to fill an open date or to sell a package, so be prepared for ol’ reliable: “It depends on…” or for a question such as: “What were you planning on spending?” or “What is your entertainment budget?” before you get a direct answer. Knowing your price tolerance, they’ll start high and cut if necessary. Bought a new car lately? It’s a game. I’m the opposite. Why waste each other’s time? If your only concern and first question regards the fee, I’ll answer it and that’ll be that.

Joe Pachino has been a Radio & Mobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974 and authored “DJ’s Secrets Revealed! How To Select (And Get The Most Out Of) Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ” c 2001, 2007 EMI. It’s loaded with constructive, organized and valuable tip$ for Parents. He’s performed at well over 1000 Mitzvahs, so take advantage of his experience. (And experiences!) You’ll find loads of info and goodies at http://djs-secrets.com/

The following information regards the first half (first 2 hours) of a Bar or bat Mitzvah Reception:

There’s no university I know of offering a Mobile DJ major. We learn by watching, listening and doing. What works for me will be handled differently by my peers.

What’s the right way? Did you hear about the woman who rushed into the train station at 9:30 and asked at the ticket counter, “Where do I catch the 9:40 train to New York?” The agent responded by pointing: “Make a left, and you’ll be right!” “Don’t get smart with me, young man.” “OK lady, make a right, and you’ll be left!”

Huh?

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

By not hiring the “right” DJ, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be stuck with a “left” DJ or a “wrong” DJ…but you may be booking one who plays with 51 in the deck. So what? He could be great, lots of fun and completely innovative! He’s a DJ, not a neurosurgeon. He may be inclined to view your function from an entirely innovative and fresh perspective. He wants to do things his way, so loosen the leash and allow him to do what he does best. If you’re comfortable with him, to paraphrase The Beatles: Let Him Be.

Once at a Bat Mitzvah, the mother actually carried a clipboard! Do I have to detail this? The caterer and I were ready to commit hara-kiri after 4 hours.

Please…tranquility and flexibility. The following typical reception is only a guide:

HOUR ONE (Scenario A): During cocktails/hors d’oeuvres, the music is indicative of what’s going on. Nothing! Guests don’t all arrive at once. They filter in, blend and mingle. They won’t filter in and hit the dance floor, so the music is audible, but not overt. No one’s ears will bleed. Expect a pleasant meld of Gershwin, Sinatra, big band, modern jazz, soft vocals or light classics.

Don’t expect the DJ to be on the mic cajoling your guests to dance. It’s just as important knowing when to speak as when to zip it. Years ago, I stopped booking myself as THE JOE SHOW, which was my “nom de plume” on-the-air. After all, it wasn’t me who was the center of attention. It was the child. A DJ should appreciate the benefit of a subdued approach when it’s appropriate.

HOUR ONE (Scenario B): Give the kids to the DJ for games and “their” music in the main room while adults enjoy hors d’oeuvres without music in the foyer.

HOUR ONE (Scenario C): Hors d’oeuvres are served in the foyer to all guests. After hors d’oeuvres, the doors all swing open and the party begins “cooking” with up-tempo, high energy music (NRG in DJ shorthand). You lead the way onto the dance floor with your child and then, after a rousing introduction, Grand Entrance and applause, have a few spins with your guests before the meal is served and/or between courses.

(At a Saturday evening affair, be sure to advise your DJ if you choose to have a Havdalah service. And hope he doesn’t say: “A what?”)

HOUR TWO: Preceding the meal, have the Motzi and a little “…bo-ray, p’ri hagoffen.” (Your child will be looking forward to that Manischewitz!) True story: Once at an afternoon party, we couldn’t find the Bar Mitzvah boy at game time. Everyone became quite concerned (some frantic) when we still couldn’t locate him to lift him in the chair during the Hora. It seems his cousins were sneaking him a few sips (gulps?) of the fruit-of-the-vine. He was outside. Loosing his lunch. Once he found his way back in, he couldn’t even read his Candlelighting poems! Have you ever seen parents who wanted to kill their kid at his own Bar Mitzvah?!

Prior to your arrival, the caterer and DJ will discuss the affair and review a printed agenda (yours or theirs). Hot food should be served hot, so timing is essential.

It’s the DJ’s responsibility to insure that the party flows. Let your caterers serve a delicious meal. DON’T allow them to program your function. Never, ever with a capital NEVER. Occasionally, they can be heavy handed about it, but event coordination is not their expertise. They do it occasionally because they have to deal with all caliber of DJs. But if you trust your DJ, then TRUST YOUR DJ!

Regardless of whether your meal is sit-down, stations or buffet, your child and his friends will finish eating in fifteen minutes. (Twenty, if you s-t-r-e-t-c-h it.) So have the kids served first. After they’ve finished eating it’s the ideal time, and gives the DJ more time, for games and contests and to work with the kids.

Joe Pachino has been a Radio & Mobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974 and authored “DJ’s Secrets Revealed! How To Select (And Get The Most Out Of) Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ” c 2001, 2007 EMI. It’s loaded with constructive, organized and valuable tip$ for Parents. He’s performed at well over 1000 Mitzvahs, so take advantage of his experience. (And experiences!) You’ll find loads of info and goodies at http://djs-secrets.com/

One of your major party considerations is time of day. Prior to deciding on one over the other, consider the following points of view.

Luncheon Advantages/Evening Affair Disadvantages:

1. Synagogue service. “Great party. And Mazel Tov, once more!” “We’re so-glad-you-enjoyed-yourselves-wonderful-seeing-you-again-drive-back-safely-bye-bye.” Finis.

2. Out-of-town guests who can get home in a few hours won’t have the additional expense of a hotel room for the night.

3. Depending on your (literal as well as figurative) tastes, you might opt for a less extravagant meal. Omelets and bagels vs. prime rib and garlic toast.

4. Fees may be lower for your DJ, caterer, photographer or hall. Ask and you shall receive…occasionally. You may not be offered a price break, but there’s no harm in trying.

The opposite may be true. It’s not unheard of for DJs to tack a concealed surcharge on a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. They feel a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is more work. They’re right! (But, hey, that’s not YOUR fault!) They’ll justify the heftier fee if questioned, but you’d never think to bring it up.

Want to find out? Surreptitiously have someone call back and request a rate for a Reunion (a piece-of-cake gig). Some DJs keep their hourly rate fees standard for any type of affair, any time of day, any day of the year. Some don’t.

Luncheon Disadvantages/Evening Affair Advantages:

1. DJ’s make themselves available 24/7. (For most Conservative and Orthodox families, it’s 24/6!) But, presuming you have a Saturday afternoon affair, your guests won’t have had a chance to unwind after services. Evenings allow a respite.

2. The “mind set” and atmosphere at a luncheon is quite different than that at an evening affair.

From a DJ’s point-of-view behind the mic, I suspect that the exact same music played in the exact same sequence would elicit a far different response from the exact same crowd during different times of the day.

It’s often tougher to motivate an afternoon crowd that seems to be more talkative than active. Is there a dentist in the house? Getting some people off their tush is like pulling teeth! That’s not to say that a luncheon won’t be a wonderful and complete success. My wife and I had three. But, if liquor is offered, guests will drink more and assume a “looser” posture at night.

So, if the dance floor isn’t jam-packed for the duration of your luncheon, it’s not your fault, your DJ’s fault or your guest’s fault. It’s the human body clock. Some bones just weren’t designed to flail to The Chicken Dance at 3:30 in the afternoon! (But if you invite a fun-loving party crowd, the time of day won’t matter. They’ll wear a hole in the dance floor.)

3. If your banquet is on a boat cruise, no one’s jumping overboard prior to the last dance! But if not, this isn’t a Broadway show where they feel they’ll miss something leaving before “THE END.” Guests with baby-sitters, the elderly or out-of-towners who drove may exit early, especially if they also attended morning services.

Luncheon or Evening Affair, You’re Being Warned, So Stay Calm:

Invariably, when you check the place-card table, there will be unclaimed names. They’re not sick in bed either, but you almost wish they were! Seldom do 100% of expected, healthy guests show up. (And you had to pay for them, too!) It’s aggravating and extraordinarily rude, but don’t let it ruin your day. Anticipate it.

Joe Pachino has been a Radio & Mobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974 and authored “DJ’s Secrets Revealed! How To Select (And Get The Most Out Of) Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ” c 2001, 2007 EMI. It’s loaded with constructive, organized and valuable tip$ for Parents. He’s performed at well over 1000 Mitzvahs, so take advantage of his experience. (And experiences!) You’ll find loads of info and goodies at http://djs-secrets.com/

Regardless of market size, how do you know who’s the cream of the Disc Jockey crop? As you speak with DJs, pay particular attention to their professionalism on the phone. It often tends to spill over into their DJ style. A strained conversation doesn’t bode well for your piece of mind. Mobile Disc Jockey publications and trade groups exist. Does your DJ subscribe? Is he a participating member? Ask.

And ask about a request policy. A good DJ should work some guest requests into his routine. However, don’t expect him to play them all. They may be inappropriate for the mood of the event. A DJ isn’t just a record changer. He wants to motivate the crowd. The art of DJing is timing, and forcing him to ignore his instincts by playing every request will result in an “uneven” (and less fun) party. But DJs aim to please and anticipate requests. (I receive, in large part, the same ones at every affair!)

It’s OK to provide a list of a few songs and tell your DJ that they’re “Must Have.” But don’t make a list pages long. Also remember, given the opportunity to make that list, the “nature of the beast” is that 13-year olds are self-centered. They’ll always list their favorite tunes, giving no thought to adult preferences or DJ leeway. They won’t notice, nor care about, the adults who are sitting there gritting their teeth to the Top 10 on MTV.

Beats Per Minute should remain constant throughout a “dance” song. Slow dances have 60-80 BPM and up-tempo numbers have twice as many. If a tune goes through several rhythm changes, it’s quite difficult to dance to. And occasionally, adults won’t consider “danceability,” either. I recently played a party where a gentleman requested “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” by Crosby, Stills and Nash. We all grew up listening to this tune and, while I carry the song, I didn’t want to play it because you simply can’t dance to it. I knew that if I played it, it would clear the dance floor! Not only that, but the song is over seven minutes long. An empty floor for SEVEN MINUTES…watch the DJ start to schvitz! He’ll need a bath towel for the perspiration.

Your child will also give no thought to song lyrics. Unless you’re on top of today’s CDs (many have Parental Advisories), you may be shocked at some lyrics. And even if you happen to enjoy those songs yourself, Aunt Tilly might faint!

Your DJ should be aware of the lyrics, but you can still supply him with a “Don’t Play” list. Lyric issues aside, some other songs are silly, but they’re fun. And that’s really all you want your affair to be, right? So welcome those novelty dances and interactive songs (which don’t require a dance partner) like The Hokey Pokey, Macarena, Hands Up, Bunny Hop, The Electric Slide or Cha-Cha Slide. If your DJ plays one or two, or three or four, it’ll motivate your guests and occupy the dancefloor. (Your DJ will suck in his breath and play them all. He may be weary of these tunes, but they’re his bread and butter songs.)

Variety in music is essential and your DJ will bring a much larger assortment, but time only allows for 60-70 songs in a typical 4-hour show. Having the proper 65 is what’s important. DJs won’t track through all of Engelbert Humperdinck’s Greatest Hits at your Mitzvah, just as they won’t play Heavy Metal or Rap music at a Class of ‘60 Reunion.

A Bar/Bat Mitzvah party range duration is 3 to 5 hours. How long should yours be? If your function is for adults as well as children, plan 3 or 4 hours for a luncheon and 4 or 5 for an evening affair. NOTE: If your party is for your child’s friends only, 3 hours is sufficient. That fourth hour at a kids-only party seems to last much longer than 60 minutes!

Are you planning a luncheon or an evening reception? There are pros and cons to both. Either way, you have plenty of company.

It doesn’t mean a thing one way or the other but, for the past several years, the percentage of my clients having luncheons has been increasing. Last year, it was just about a draw.

But the time of day is irrelevant. Your guests and your child’s friends expect two things: food and fun. You take care of the food. Your DJ will handle the rest.

Joe Pachino has been a Radio & Mobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974 and authored “DJ’s Secrets Revealed! How To Select (And Get The Most Out Of) Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ” c 2001, 2007 EMI. It’s filled with constructive, organized and valuable tip$ for Parents. He’s performed at well over 1000 Mitzvahs, so take advantage of his experience. (And experiences!) You’ll find loads of info and goodies at http://djs-secrets.com/

Regarding a Disc Jockey’s full color mail-out brochure, does High Gloss = High Cost? Not necessarily. And very often, the opposite is true.

It’s not a certainty about the one you may receive, but national printers sell professionally designed, glossy brochures to DJs by exclusive territory and classification (Wedding, Corporate, etc.) and simply plug in each local DJ’s logo and phone number. The descriptions and photographs are usually generic! Those same partygoers sure get around.

You can tell by noting if specific DJ information is found on the front and back covers ONLY. Is it sneaky? Is it credible? Does it matter? Should you care? You decide. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just another DJ sales technique, or it may indicate an agency.

If you choose to speak with an agency and bypass discussion with the DJ who will perform at your party, you’re walking on eggshells. So watch your step!

Agencies subcontract a crew of DJs (keeping a liberal amount of the fee for booking them). A benefit agencies promote is that they’re able to provide a replacement in the event of an emergency. OK, so? Although they stress the fear factor to favor themselves over an individual, an emergency isn’t probable. You’re not booking an insurance policy. Besides, all decent single operators network too, and can offer the same assurance.

So is it money well spent? Remember the old Wendy’s commercials: “Where’s The Beef?”

What else do they offer? If you’re hiring a “name” who works exclusively for the agent, that’s fine. But if you’re getting a guy from their stable, find out who’s been assigned to your party. Does he favor a tuxedo or a backwards baseball cap? Even if the agency has been around for years, he may be newly trained or hired last week. You’re spending big $$$…buy experience!

If the agency won’t allow you and your assigned Disc Jockey to speak together without the agency as an intermediary, assume the worst and walk away. Quickly. The DJ will be more frank and/or you’ll be able to judge his experience (or lack of experience) without Big Brother watching (or listening).

At a large catering hall which divides into four separate banquet rooms, I recently ran into a local booking agency’s DJ as we were both unloading our equipment for different affairs. He came in to check out my set-up and did everything but drool. I walked into the adjoining room and saw his “gear.” It looked like a DJ starter kit from Circuit City. Actually that’s unfair to Circuit City. Make that Toys-R-Us. (You know something? It’s almost unfair to Toys-R-Us, too!)

He volunteered to me that the agency was paying him a $35 per hour fee. Here’s a fellow who was content to go home with $140 in his wallet that night (before taxes). Is it any wonder that he couldn’t afford a professional system?

Anyone who’s been around for a while wouldn’t pack up his vehicle for $140. The key is that the agency booked the job for $400 (”Return Your Contract Within Ten Days And Receive A Special Discount From Our Regular $500 Fee”). Of course, what the customer ultimately received was an $140 Disc Jockey, not a $400 (or $500) DJ. Please note: This one example may not be typical and it’s certainly not meant to impugn respectable and reputable agencies, of which there are plenty. But, it is not extreme.

What do you think would have happened if this DJ received a last minute phone call from Agency “B” for a job that would pay him $250 cash that evening? It’s obvious. He’s a mercenary and a likely no-show nightmare for you. Re-read that last sentence.

And if Agency “A” subsequently fired him, so what? What’s Agency “A” going to do? Take him to court for $140? He’s a subcontractor out for himself with no vested interest in the agency. Nor is he indebted to you. He’s never even spoken to you! He doesn’t have a conscience. What he would have is an extra $110 in his pocket for the same amount of work. But where would that leave YOU?

Be aware, not wary hiring through a booker. Do they have office space or handle everything over the phone? Can they offer advice regarding invitations, photographers, light shows, dancers, sign-in boards, prizes and party favors? They’re a bargain and worth the extra expenditure if they assume the full burden. I want to be clear: many agencies are conscientious and exemplary. If you’ve gotten personal referrals–perfect! Dump it all in their lap. If not, PLEASE request professional references. Not glossy brochures.

Joe Pachino has been a Radio & Mobile DJ in Baltimore since 1974 and authored “DJ’s Secrets Revealed! How To Select (And Get The Most Out Of) Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah DJ” c 2001, 2007 EMI. It’s loaded with constructive, organized and valuable tip$ for Parents. He’s performed at well over 1000 Mitzvahs, so take advantage of his experience. (And experiences!) You’ll find loads of info and goodies at http://djs-secrets.com/